Ka-Chow!

For Carson's birthday this year, we did a "Cars" theme being as he is just slightly obsessed with that movie and Lightening McQueen. My mom pretty much handled the cake, it turned out great! We invited a bunch of friends to an indoor play place in town and let the kids run wild, then ate cake and ice cream! Carson loved all the cars he got and was one happy camper by the end of the day!

The Big 3

It's hard to believe that 3 years ago today, my baby was born. It's a little bittersweet, especially when I know he could be my last. Carson is such a delight to have in our family and the sweetest boy. He really has a tender spirit! I love that he still loves to cuddle sometimes with his blankie, I just want to hold onto that forever!

Carson looks up to his big brother so much, and it's really cute to see them play together. MOST of the time, they actually get along quite well, but of course, like any siblings, they have moments where I want to scream, pull out my hair and put them in seperate rooms! :)

Carson is very smart just like Austin and talks quite well (minus the little lisp from his gap in his mouth!). I know in the fall he will be more than ready for preschool. We can't wait to watch you grow Carson, we sure LOVE YOU!!!!!!

Here we go again...

I had my scans last week and felt at peace with things, but there was something inside of me that made me wonder and worry. I kept thinking that the scan results wouldn't show any progress, and just stable disease. Well, I was right. My doctor told me that the tumor left in my lung hadn't shrunk at all since Dec. The good news is that there are no new tumors to be found and that the tumor hadn't grown, but the bad news is that stable disease usually means that eventually the tumors will come back and grow again. It also means that the melanoma has built up a resistance to the treatment I am on (dang melanonma!). So, the next step is to complete one last course of my current treatment (instead of continuing 8 more treatments) and start a new treatment in a month.

The new treatment drug is called Ipilimumab which is an immunotherapy that activates or stimulates the immune system to clear cancer cells (explained in a nut shell). It is on the brink of becoming FDA approved for metastatic melanoma, and will be the first drug to be approved in over 16 years. This drug is very promising and has had great results in about 20% of patients. I only hope that I will be one of those patients!

For now, I am trying to remain positive and hopeful for the future. My emotions are mixed. On one hand I feel disappointed that I wasn't a "complete responder" to the treatment I was on and feel like a failure for not finishing. Melanoma is a tough cancer to beat, and it's discouraging to know that everything I've done to kick this thing in the can hasn't done the job yet. On the other hand, I'm actually relieved to be done with this treatment though because it has been intense and brutal and the new treatment will be much easier to handle (although there are still side effects). The bottom line is I gotta keep on truckin'. I have to believe that something will work and I will still be here!

Back on the bike

I think I'm officially crazy. Like for real. Yesterday I decided to go out for my first ride of the season with a bunch of guys. And I was the only girl. Yeah for me, right?! Wrong. We did a 35 mile loop, which the first 20 miles weren't bad, but the last 15 I struggled to keep up. The first hill we hit my left leg cramped up bad and after that, I just didn't have any steam anymore. But there were some guys that stayed back with me and for that, I'm grateful.

I will say that I felt kinda cool being the only chick out there, not to mention the only one fighting cancer. And I have to give myself some credit. My exercise routine is still inconsistent with the treatments I have every month, so to go out and ride like that is really pretty good, I think. I guess I did it because in a few days I have CT scans and I needed to clear my head. And being on my bike is one of the best ways to do that!

Big Reader

Austin started reading about a year ago, but now that he is in kindergarten, he has really taken off! He reads tons of words that I'm surprised he can sound out all the time and he knows all his sight words too. I love seeing his confidence grow and watching his little brain work. He is also really good at math and loves it! I have no doubt that as he gets older, he will continue to do well in school. The best part about him reading? He can read to his little brother!

Bunkin' up

Carson is officially out of the crib. Finally. We scored some rockin' bunk beds from a local store that was closing out and liquidating everything. And so the kids are sharing a room now. As you can imagine, bed time has been a little challenging so far! But it's good for them and after the novelty of sharing a room has worn off, hopefully they will go to sleep a lot faster!