Watch out world.

I can't believe Austin started kindergarten today. What a big milestone! Sadly for me, I missed his first day of school too (such a bummer, I know, but I couldn't return home any sooner)! He even woke up at 6:00 too, eager to go to school and join the ranks of the "big kids". I have no doubt that Austin will excel in school academically and socially-that I know. He is a friendly and smart kid, and will love everything about his first official year of school. I'm sure he will grow up so much this year!

He looks thrilled to have his picture taken by Dad

The class lining up waiting for the bell

He's already made a friend. Go figure.

Jen's visit

My sister, Jen, came up for the week while I went back for Round #2 of treatment. She kept the kids busy all week swimming, playing at the park, going to the zoo, and paddleboating. From the looks of things, I think they had a lot of fun (pictures courtesy of Jen)! How lucky are these boys to have such a fun, good aunt?! Thanks for holding down the fort, Jen! We sure love you!

Mom & Austin date

I decided to take Austin on a little "mom-son" date today. I thought it would be nice for him to spend a little time with just me, especially before I return for treatment (tomorrow). Plus, I wanted to take him school shopping and get him excited for kindergarten in a week. So, we did a little of that, went to lunch, and then went to the movies to see "Despicable Me" (hilarious!). What a great kid he is!

Nice cheesebucket smiles, eh?!

New 'do

I decided to chop my hair off, after receiving the advice from a friend that has gone through the same treatment. This is only the second time in my LIFE that I have had short hair. I know it really isn't that short either, but I'm not that gutsy when it comes to my hair. I wanted to do it though because my hair is going to start thinning out and there's nothing worse than long, straggly-looking, thin hair! Hopefully this will help me feel some control in things! :)

Roaring Springs

Today we went with some friends to Roaring Springs, a waterpark in town. It was super fun, a little crazy, and so hot! But we had a blast and the kids loved it, of course! Austin was going bananas there w/ all the waterslides that he wanted to go on-he sure had me running! Maybe next year we'll get a season pass!

10 Years!!!

Eric and I celebrate 10 years or marriage today. In some ways, it feels like so much longer because many things have happened in those 10 years. But in other ways, I still feel like I am 22 yrs old and even more in love with THIS MAN. How lucky we are to have found each other! To think we've really known each other for 14 years (nearly half of our lives!), since that freshmen year in college, is crazy. We were such babies then!

2 years ago, we started talking about what we wanted to do for the big 1-0. We talked about Kauai, being as that was where we honeymooned. But then we thought of going somewhere new and fun, and we decided that it would be Costa Rica. Obviously, that isn't happening for us now. Even despite lack of funds for that kind of trip, there's no way that could've happened with my cancer diagnosis this year and treatment right now. But I have hope that we will make it to Costa Rica someday! In fact, maybe in a year when I'm past all this treatment and "cancer free" again. Then we will have even more to celebrate!

Eric, I can't wait to see what the next 10 years have in store for us. I can honestly say, that I love you more today than I did that day we were married (which I didn't think was possible). You ARE my soul mate, my better half, and my best friend. Nobody knows me like you do. (And nobody could put up w/ me like you too!) You make me laugh like nobody else can and most importantly, nobody loves and respects me like you do. You are a true gem, a special man, and one incredible person. I LOVE YOU!!!!

Family pictures

My dear friend, Courtney, took some family pictures of us yesterday. As always, I'm blown away by how these pictures turned out. She really is a rockstar and such a talented photographer and generous friend. The last time we took family pictures was when Carson was only 7 months old, and I wanted to do it before I cut my hair. Here is a sneak peak...

Kids tender mercies

Let me first just say how much I LOVE my kids. They are so special, tender-hearted, pure, and perfect little spirits. I am so grateful that we have blessed to "have them on loan" from Heavenly Father. And at this particular time in our life with so much going on, I'm thankful to have their smiling, angelic faces and sweet words brighten my day and provide me with the sunshine that I need.

There have been some sweet moments and sayings that have gone on that I don't ever want to forget. EVER. So, here's a synopsis of a few:

Austin while saying prayers one night, "Heavenly Father, please bless Mom to LIVESTRONG so she won't have to go the doctor anymore." That about did it for me. I couldn't contain the tears!

Carson while comforting me one day, "Mommy, it will be OK." How much I needed those words at that moment! What a sweet spirit he is and so close to his Heavenly Father.

Austin while snuggling with me in bed morning, "Mom, I just want to cuddle with you right now. I missed you." For a kid that isn't too affectionate, this was music to my ears.

Carson while saying family prayer one night (which he said almost entirely by himself), "Please bless Mommy to not feel icky".

All of these and more, I know, are tender mercies from my Heavenly Father. I just know that it is HIS way of showing me His love, and letting me know that I will be alright and that I'm being watched over. And what marvelous blessings those are.

Holy cow.

I think a herd of elephants, a few semi-trucks, and a train ran over my body this week. The hospital was rough, but the first 5 days home from the hospital were even rougher. The fatigue is something that is so foreign to me. I mean, I've been exhausted before, but not like this. It's like everything wears me out-eating, talking, SITTING UP even, going to the bathroom, you name it, it exhausts me. Such a strange feeling. For awhile there, I couldn't remember how it felt to feel GOOD, and NORMAL.

But then Day 5 came around, a ward member came by to bring me some "juice" (beets, carrots, and apple), and I started to come around. I was starting to feel HALF HUMAN again. My appetite was returning finally. The yucky taste in my mouth was going away. I actually felt like getting dressed and talking didn't feel like such a CHORE. I am grateful though. I'm grateful that I really didn't have to experience a lot of nausea. In the hospital and out. That is the one side effect that I can LIVE WITHOUT. I'm grateful for all the help we've been given through friends and ward members this week. And for the help of family while I was in the hospital. Our kids are being blessed and protected. I can feel it and know that Heavenly Father is watching over them, keeping them safe, helping them feel loved and secure. They are handling everything SO WELL. I'm grateful to my parents who stayed in the hospital the entire time I was admitted. For their care, concern, and willingness to do anything for me. We are truly blessed.

I can't think about going back in a couple of weeks right now. I just want to enjoy this moment, enjoy next week of feeling good and normal. We're going to live it up too. Pool, waterslide park, movies, whatever. It's all about spending time with loved ones and living in the moment!

While I was away...

Our amazing sister-in-law, Heather, came up from Logan and stayed with the kids while I was in the hospital. She kept the kids occupied and entertained with lots of things all week long, all the while, taking pictures so that I wouldn't feel like I missed out on things! Gotta love her! It looks like they had a ton of fun too...

Lots of outside play

And water, of course. Carson loves to dump water on himself as you can see

Then they did some arts and crafts (thank you Heather, not my strong suit)

And went to Rafiki

Silly monkey

And more water...

Look how cute all 3 of them are! Maecee could be their sister practically!

No turning back now.

Here goes nothing! I start treatment today Monday, Aug 2nd (I'm actually writing this post treatment though). Scans came back good last week-no evidence of disease outside of my lungs (although 2 new ones popped up, totally 6 tumors now). I'm nervous, but also ready to get the nuclear fire arms ready and blazing! Let's get these bad boys out!