2. Teach him the words for how he feels. Little boys tend to use their physical abilities more often than their verbal abilities. I know mine did. Hitting, biting, and pushing were all regular behaviors in our house. The trick is to continue to work with them on "using their words, not their hands", so as to learn to better communicate their feelings. This simple act of communication will go a long way when they get older and have a difficult time expressing their innermost feelings.
3. Kiss him. A LOT. Little boys are often wild and destructive. But they also have those sweet and tender moments as well. Kiss and enjoy them when they are sweet, but kiss them even more when they are wild and noisy. Someday they will reach a point when they won't want you to kiss them anymore, especially in public, but do it anyways. They need that affection and love.
4. Read to him and read with him.
5. Make sure he has good examples of men in his life, other than his dad. From birth they will be surrounded by "Superhero" characters like Batman and Superman who have strong muscles and are brave. But what they need more are examples of men that are full of integrity, compassion, determination, and humility. Also men that love and serve God.
6. Make sure he RESPECTS women and knows how to treat them and has examples of women in his life that are full of integrity, compassion, determination, and humility and that love and serve God.
7. BE that example to him and someday when he is grown-up, he will look for a wife like you and want to be a father and husband like his dad.
8. Teach him to have manners. Because it's nice and too many kids these days do NOT have manners.
9. Learn how to throw a football. Or catch a baseball in a mit. Or build a lego ship with him. Or know all the names of different contruction trucks, trains, and cars. Be in his life, not as an observer, but as a participant.
10. Teach him that there are times when you need to be gentle. Like with babies, flowers, animals, and other people's feelings.
11. Let him ruin his clothes. Resolve to be cool about dirty, holey, and ruined clothes. You'll be fighting a losing battle if you get upset every time he ruins another piece of clothing. Don't waste your energy being angry about something inevitable. Boys tend to learn by destroying, jumping, spilling, falling, and making impossible messes. Dirty, ruined clothes are just par for the course.
12. Teach him to have gratitude. It's the key to everlasting happiness. We have a saying in our home, "You get what you get, and you don't throw a fit." Life could be A LOT worse! We are very fortunate.
13. Answer him when he asks, "Why?" Answer him, or search for the answer together. Show him the places to look for the answers (like his dad, or grandparents, or his aunts/uncles, or his books, or valid internet searches). Pose the question to him so he can begin thinking about answers himself. Someday, when he needs to ask questions he's too embarrassed to ask you -he'll know where to go to find the right answers.
14. Let him lose sometimes. Losing sucks. Everybody isn't always a winner. Even if you want to say, "You're a winner because you tried," don't. He doesn't feel like a winner, he feels sad, crappy and disappointed. And that's a good thing, because sometimes life also sucks, no matter how hard (as moms) we try to make it not suck for our kids. This practice will do him good later when he loses again (and again, and again, and again, and again.....) Instead make sure he understands that - sometimes you win - sometimes you lose. But that doesn't mean you ever give up.
15. Remind him that practice makes perfect. This doesn't just apply to performance-based activities (like sports and music) but also applies to everything in life. You become a better writer by writing. You become a better listener by listening. You become a better speaker by speaking. Show your son this when he is just young enough to understand (that means from birth, folks - they are making sense of the world as soon as they arrive), practice trick-or-treating at your own front door before the real thing. Practice how you will walk through airport security before a trip. Practice how you order your own food from the fast food cashier. Practice, practice, practice.
16. Build him forts.Forts have the ability to make everyday normal stuff into magic. Throw the couch cushions, a couple blankets, and some clothespins and you can transform your living room into the cave of wonders. For the rest of his life, he'll be grateful to know that everyday normal stuff has the potential to be magical.
17. Give him opportunities to help others. There is a big difference in giving someone the opportunity to help and forcing someone to help. Giving the opportunity lights a flame in the heart and once the help is done the flame shines brighter and asks for more opportunities. Be an example of helping others in your own actions and the way your family helps each other and helps others together.
18. Always carry bandaids and wipes. Especially wipes.
19. Give him something to release his energy.Drums, a pen, a punching bag, wide open space, water, a ball, or a dog. Give him something to go crazy with - or he will use and probably, ruin your stuff. And then you'll be sorry.
20. Let his dad teach him how to do many things. If you let his dad show and teach and discover with your son while he is growing up, some day down the road (after a short period of your son believing his dad knows nothing), he will come to the realization that his dad knows everything. You will always be his mother, but in his grown-up man heart and mind, his dad will know the answers. And this will be how, when your son is too busy with life to call and chat with his mom, you will stay connected to what is happening in his life. Because he will call his dad for answers, and we all know that his dad will secretly come and ask you.
21. Take him to new places. Because it will make his brain and his heart open up wider, and the ideas and questions and memories will rush in.
22. Teach him how to cook and do laundry. His future wife will thank you someday for it.
23. Listen to him. He will value that more than you know and hopefully learn to be a better listener himself.
24. Teach him that he is a child of God, that his Heavenly Father loves him unconditionally, and that he has a purpose in life. In my book, the MOST important thing you can teach your son (or child for that matter).
25. Be home base for him. You are home to him. When he learns to walk, he will wobble a few feet away from you and then come back, then wobble away a little farther and then come back. When he tries something new, he will look for your proud smile. When he learns to read, he will repeat the same book to you twenty times in a row, because you're the only one who will listen that many times. When he plays his sport, he will search for your face in the stands. When he is sick, he will call you. When he really messes up, he will call you. When he is grown and strong and tough and big and he feels like crying, he will come to you; because a man can cry in front of his mother without feeling self-conscious. Even when he grows up and has a new woman in his life and gets a new home, you are still his mother; home base, the ever constant, like the sun. Know that in your heart and everything else will fall into place.
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